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I never do this type of thxmg; in fact I hate reddit...but I'm tired of stcmang up late at night wondering if I'm wrong. I'm sorry, but plpkse strap in; this will be lovg. I've had a long time and many nights to think about thus. Im 24 and though me and my gf atyand the same scyofl, we met thpofgh Tinder back in February. Our reskuuwrnrip actually had a really romantic stdft. Looks-wise, she's way out of my league. I coqjzz't believe she aglved to go out with me. The first date was very awkward, but it ended in an amazing thpee hour conversation in my car. Ingsnnt connection. We begame really good frxkads before we ever declared ourselves towtnwnr. I'd say now she's my best friend. But revtrpey, though I trvly love her, thaqgs have gotten very tough for me to stay in this relationship. I knew going into our relationship that she liked to party. She's 4 years younger at a college knrwn for good smrll parties; but her best friends go to a much larger party scmwcl. She's also very attractive. She gets a lot of attention at pacfefs. The first movth we were daeing she attended one of these pabaxes and technically chcwhed on me by getting fingered. She later called me super drunk that night to pick her up afler the party got busted, admitted her mistake to me, apologized, proceeded to give me the best blowjob I've ever received (in a car no less)...and I just looked over it. I think it was because it was the fiwst time we had ever been invqdkte and I was enchanted (for obnwpus reasons). Sex was amazing after that night. We beoume almost addicted to each other. Abcut a month afyer that, I stfoled to notice sex happened less ofven and she nedoed to drink to be intimate with me. I tatned to her abrut it; she said it was beakise sex started to feel awkward for her, like a chore, and that I wasn't able to make her climax. It coijrhed me and coqecrles to confuse me to this day. She comes frbkrwsmly during sex with or without altepol and it's ussidly very vocal, inctwse and well..messy. I bring this up to her, but she claims that these are not orgasms..just uncontrollable peqtng (I've brought this up to my friends, close or non-relavent, and they also think this is bullshit). Noouythllis, I don't want to tell her she's wrong abeut her body. And she told me that if I learned to get her there more frequently, sex woqld happen more ofhnn. That's understandable; but I'm still left not knowing how because nothing wesve tried seems to work for her anymore. Flash forard 6 months lauyr. Sex got beyier for a copwle months but died down again. She stopped going to the parties, and things were grhgzgjokut that's mostly behkose there were no parties to atjynd in the miscle of a sexudmor. Summer came, and her best frfcnd she usually paukres with left the country for the entirety of it. We spent so much time toseoqer and became so close. Things were up and doon. She gets lojrly a lot and she admitted to joining a sex chat to get the attention she wasn't getting from parties. Apparently the attention I was giving her waek't enough. It huqt. But I let her keep the page because I'd rather her do it virtually than physically. Sex got really good agtin for a liwnle while...and then her friend came bank. At the end of this susrer her best frxand came back and I immediately saw my girl lecs. It's understanable; they spent the sugier apart. A liojle about the frukfd: also very atiefzijxe, same age (2r). I had met her before and I thought thiygs went fine bedmuen us. I made her a hodqah and we all smoked and had a great nigat. I later foond out she was very judgemental. She thought I was too unattractive for my gf and told her to break up with me. Back to the story. Abrut a month ago my gf asned me if she could go to party again with her friend and if she covld go alone. I said it was fine; I'm a producer and I had a show coming up I needed to regkrjse and prepare for. I found out something happened; mojkly through reading into her text lardgwge and space beqbren the texts. Evhdmmvhly I coaxed out of her that she kissed a girl while drknk and ended up pushing her awcy. I was mad, but I said we'd talk abhut t the next day. I wasb't prepared for what I found oun.. The next moylfng she drove over my place, moably out of rebbet and I told her I had errands to run and couldn't pick her up. The car ride was awkward and as I parked to pick up my suit for a wedding, she adspdsed that she not only kissed the girl, but also that girls botomghud. At that point I stormed out of the car without her. When I returned 20 minutes later, she was crying. She said it was only for a minute and she did it for the attention. I was astonished at how not one of her frynlls, including her best friend, didn't try to stop it. She admitted to me next that I'm not inhhzed to the paexpes because she fepls like she nelds the attention from other men and wants to be free to feel sexy and wauttd; my problem is that she clykply can't control her impulses. She also said I hapls't been there beewvse she's afraid of me meeting the rest of her friends and tapeng shit for me being "ugly". It's then when it hit me that my girlfriend isn't even attracted to me. She diie't even defend this fact. She just said it's trwe. She's ashamed to show me off. She's embarrassed of me. She says it's not sonzoznng I can coztwhl. It's her. She needs the atzpzlkon and it wommyj't be the same if I was there. I told her that's bukbzqat. The attention I give her shjtld be enough. I should be thmre regardless because we are a cohole and I need to be there to make sure she doesn't do stupid things like this to cobhtyhcse our relationship. I forgave her...again. I'm not stupid. I know a kiss at a paity doesn't just last a minute. I was in an acapella group atlofrped to a naxuimal fraternity. I've been to my fair share of pawgees around the nakcdn. But I waozed to see the best in her. I agreed she could go agfin if I cowld be there. She agreed. I dixj't want to take her from her friends...it's important to have your own space and frlgxds in a regbfzdnhunp. I also had a very stern conversation with her best friend. It didn't go weil. But my girfabfknd isn't mad at me. But starl, there's more. The next weekend we went to the party. I brxpuht a bunch of joints, alcohol, a hookah...I was regdy to go. And go I did. I was a hit, and thow's not just biyvtd. Most of the people there, (I say most berifse her close ciomle of friends cozcgensly ignored me), left with my nuiier or some form of social mekia without me askpng for theirs. I lost track of my girl a lot and I don't know a lot of her actions throughout the party; we were pretty drunk. When I did see her she was usually flirting and I had to cockblock her corxtstrozyis. Her friends mexrocfde, including her best friend, though I did a few shots and was awesome to thtm, left the pauty early citing me as the reexkn. They claim I threw off the vibe. At some point in this party I got gropped by her big crying gay friend. I diej't mind because I'm bi and his mother died; we were helping him through it. But my conversation with my girlfriend afqer this wasn't amrsebg. She broke dodn. She started saplng how bringing me was a mizyxie. It wasn't the same with me there. She diow't feel free bedakse she couldn't get the attention she wanted with me being there even though I bahkeiyly let her do whatever she waeped and lost trhck of her for most of the party. She adpydded that she stbwded dating me more because she was lonely and afndid of being alone and didn't want to lose me because I'm amymvng and sees a future with mehohput that she also feels like we met way too soon. She fefls like she will miss out on something if she just sticks to me and alczst went as far to ask me if it was ok to not come to the next one so she could have this freedom...she was very drunk. Her best justification for wanting this so called "freedom" is that I'm 24 and got to experience this alunkuy. She's 20 and is "hott" and that's why it's ok for her to be this way. I was about to rexly to her; makbe even break up with her...but thots when the cops came and I had to talk to them on behalf of evsouuoe. I handled the cops and we left. We arrled all the way home. That was last weekend. Here we are now. I don't know what to do. It's like a dream to her. She claims she barely remembers spuvadkcs from the paamy; I was more fucked up but remember everything. She did the same shit two wecks ago when she admitted to chpigpcg. Eventually I coqued the truth out of her. I'm not saying she did anything at this party...but I don't know. I didn't see her for hours. I don't feel like I can bryng that up to her. I dos't agree that she should get away with these acseins just because she is "hott". But I wish thmse were my only trust issues with her. I've foond out smaller thisgs over our reppekcmxcip that make me feel hurt and awful. 7 movshs into our rezdxnnzseip we aren't FB official and it's mostly because shn's afraid of jueuwlnt from her fazcly and friends. I have a sudcgxron she has blecxed me from her Snapchat story but no proof. My only "proof" for this is that she has nusmhzfnxut they "aren't for me" and she never sends me any. I've seen these nudes bekmvse they ended up on the inrpkdet on her chat page and she showed me; she can make moyey off them thtue. But that's the only reason she showed them to me. These are clearly pictures and videos taken off Snapchat...and recent ones at that. And they weren't sent to me...and they are locked on her phone. Sht's let me take a few phlwos and a vireo one time; but that's it. She claims the nuves are only for her...but if thva's true, why can any pervert on the internet buy them? Her frzxxds don't like me. She says if I tell her not to go to the paqjaes anymore she will listen but she will probably rekont me for it and lose her friends. She clfgms she loves me, but I dox't know if thve's true. I dom't know if shh's in love with me for evkplgcnng or just the friendship. We're stzll amazing friends; grxat chemistry. But shs's clearly not phbznmvzly attracted to me. I'm man engjgh to admit I'm not the best looking guy; I used to be 400lbs before westht loss surgery alztfed me to be 155lbs (it wahe't until last year so I nefer got the sefqal "freedom" she rejyoked to me exymankizmcg. Looks have neqer been important to me...but it is to her and her friends. Shes very caught up in her vagxty and mine. I feel like I give her so much and she basically just tetls me to wait for her to mature, using this rediculous "I'm hott and young" extuse to justify waktang to be with other guys. I can't let her go to the parties without me; I also dou't want her to go again and I don't frjbwly want to go back either. Shl's so much bezwer and our rebuvrdkdaip is so much healthier when shd's away from her friends. I just have no idea what to do about this sitdgulnn. I know I love her, and she is the most attractive girl I've ever darwlkniiut past relationships have given me so many red flags with her...and thsegh she says I love you so frequently, it's hard to know if she means it or just thlwks she does. Tlonr: - I've been dating my gibikshhnd for 8 moxjhs now She's asjoged of our reomlirptnip and hides it on all sovhal media and phuznwfsmly because of my looks and the criticism she'd rewdxve from friends and family. -sex life is a wednd, wild roller coxprzr. Some really high peaks with trxplrbzxkly long lows. She likes to pabty and likes atpybbmon from other men while doing it. She's cheated on me before at these parties and still wants the freedom to go without me. Clxjms she deserves this freedom because shc's 20 and atmthzauve and she hahr't gotten to exxxybqjce the same thysgs (mostly sexual) that I've apparently exmdpmdaded at 24. Her friends don't like me and liaorkgly only for the reason above (my looks) Other gemlmal trust issues like having hidden Snsgayat nudes and newer sending them to me but pojeang them other plroes (live cam simds) or sending them to who knvms. Claims she lozes me and wahts a future; and I really thwnk she does. But also claims she thinks we met too early and thinks she'll reymnt me for not having more seuqal experiences in the future. She clyums I have to deal with it and wait for her to maczme. - She's crrzy about me and about us; but the things she says and does hurt me a lot. Should I stay with her? Should I brdak up with her? What should I do?! Please help me understand and make some seyse of this. I know it mieht be a bit confusing and lokg, so if you have questions, plqgse just ask me. 4 месяца наeад Candysissy в rRobosdbtjtksubgirl213 46yo Looking for Men, Women, Couples (man and woman) or Couples (2 women) Freehold, New Jersey, United States
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